Reviewing: Splintered by A.G. Howard

Alyssa Gardner hears the whispers of bugs and flowers—precisely the affliction that landed her mother in a mental hospital years before. This family curse stretches back to her ancestor Alice Liddell, the real-life inspiration for Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Alyssa might be crazy, but she manages to keep it together. For now.

When her mother’s mental health takes a turn for the worse, Alyssa learns that what she thought was fiction is based in terrifying reality. The real Wonderland is a place far darker and more twisted than Lewis Carroll ever let on. There, Alyssa must pass a series of tests, including draining an ocean of Alice’s tears, waking the slumbering tea party, and subduing a vicious bandersnatch, to fix Alice’s mistakes and save her family. She must also decide whom to trust: Jeb, her gorgeous best friend and secret crush, or the sexy but suspicious Morpheus, her guide through Wonderland, who may have dark motives of his own.


Spoilers are in these: [hellooo] Highlight to read them!

I went in with wondrously high expectations. I mean-- it's twisted. It's a retelling. Yes, please, with multiple cherries on top. 

I wouldn't say I'm disappointed, but it's not as fabulous as I thought it would be. When I first finished the book, I thought it was the best thing I'd read in a while (but then, it's the first thing I've read in a while, so...). After some thought, I found a few faults, but nothing that made me dislike the book. Just... something that bothered me a little.

Those faults start with Jeb. Now, I liked Jeb. I did! I didn't loathe him or immediately pinch my nose closed in an attempt not to hurl whenever he made an appearance. I liked his presence. It was a good feeling knowing that if Alyssa found herself about to die again, she'd have someone who would save her. It's just... he was really controlling. 

I have a thing about controlling guys. I want to bash them with baseball bats. The problem is, Jeb was sweet, too. I want to hug sweet guys and give them friendly pats on the head (my height often causes slight issues with the pats). Obviously, this was confusing. Do I hit Jeb with a bat??? Do I hug him???

No one should decide your college for you. I know this comes completely out of the blue to people who haven't read the book, so here: Jeb and Alyssa's dad made a decision together to not let her go to a college she wanted to go to. (That's just one examples of his controlling-ness).

WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

That made me greatly annoyed.

Obviously.

Other than how controlling he could be, Jeb was a good person for Alyssa to be with. He sticks with her, no matter what. I actually grew to want them together, and as surprising as it might sound the ending ruined a bit of that for me. [He won't remember what they went through together! They got so close and learned so many things about each other and risked each other's lives to save each other, but all that is lost to him. URGH.]

And Morpheus. Ahhh, Morpheus. The focus of so much drama. Surprisingly, I neither loved him nor loathed him. I was more just... vaguely irritated with him. I will say that I did start to like him more at the end of the book, though.

Here is why I was torn:

A) He was very manipulative. Bad, Morpheus.
B) You could tell that he shared a very deep connection with Alyssa that allowed him to see the very few parts of her that Jeb couldn't. The hard choices. Her wild side.
C) But that did not excuse how much he lied to her throughout the book.
D) [His confession of deep, unselfish love came COMPLETELY out of the blue. It took me a while before I even bought it a little bit. I'm still questioning if he meant every word.]

Now, finally, to Alyssa. Alyssa is not the best main character I've read, but she is good. She's determined, she's loyal, she will do anything for those she loves, and she's smart. Of course, she has her faults, but they're realistic, and nothing unforgivable.

What really made the book for me was not the characters, but the descriptions. They are AWESOME. Obviously, since Wonderland is now twisted and creepy, the descriptions were important. I wanted A. G. Howard to describe ALL THE THINGS. And she did. It was fabulous. From the way a clam looks sitting in the bottom of a boat to the way a corpse looks in certain lighting-- it was all done wonderfully. I really don't know how else to say that she rocked alllll the descriptions. 

Top 5 Genres I Want to Write In

Note: Regarding some of the following genres-- I have actually written in them. I just want to write well in them.

1. Fantasy

I haven't written in fantasy in aaages. The first time I did, it was like I took every fantasy creature, every cliche fantasy world, a perpetually angry werewolf prince, a clueless girl with links to the royal bloodline and expected them to get along. The last time I did, I wrote about changelings and hell hounds and a man called the Time Keeper, which is such an original name. 

2. Steampunk

I've never tried steampunk! I've only read around two books about it, actually, so I also don't know very much about it. But it interests me and I would love to write something in this genre, just to test the waters and see how it goes. 

3. Futuristic

I'm actually in the process of writing two futuristic books right now-- but I've never finished any drafts that I was pleased with. This is very disappointing and makes me sad whenever I think about it, but hey. Rome wasn't built in a day. I have plans to finish one of them soon. The other, well... it might take a little longer.

4. Horror

I've very recently started to have more creepy book ideas. And even though I'm not very skilled at writing creepily, I'm getting better. (But it's a slow process. I really don't think I'm a skilled enough writer to tackle some of the ideas). I would really love to write a horror book from the view of the villain. Wouldn't that just be deliciously chilling? 

5. Romance

Well, that was quite a jump. Straight from horror to romance. I should've put this after contemporary (maybe I could just smush the two together). 

I'm going to be completely honest: Romance is not my strong point. The couples I write are simply not romantic people. They're fighting wars. They're ruling countries. They're saving the world (or, y'know, setting it aflame). Who has time for kisses and declarations of love? 

But I would like to try my hand at simply having two people fall in love. (Although it sounds quite boring to write. Where would I put the explosions and death???)


Also, I'm sure this is nothing new to anyone who reads my blog, but if I disappear again, the reason is because my computer has been super slow recently. :( 

Reviewing: How to Lead a Life of Crime by Kirsten Miller

A meth dealer. A prostitute. A serial killer.

Anywhere else, they’d be vermin. At the Mandel Academy, they’re called prodigies. The most exclusive school in New York City has been training young criminals for over a century. Only the most ruthless students are allowed to graduate. The rest disappear.

Flick, a teenage pickpocket, has risen to the top of his class. But then Mandel recruits a fierce new competitor who also happens to be Flick’s old flame. They’ve been told only one of them will make it out of the Mandel Academy. Will they find a way to save each other—or will the school destroy them both?


I thought this book was going to be way lighter. I thought, y'know, it's kind of a "fun" cover. I bet this is going to be funny and lighthearted. About friendship and bonding and all that jazz.

Well, I was "kind of" wrong. And by kind of, I mean I would be closer to being right if I said the sun was a couple thousand feet away. 

The main character, Flick, is borderline villain the entire book. It crosses over a couple times, and then he is pure evil. I kinda loved it, and I was kinda creeped out by it. (I mostly loved it though. Shhh.) I've always kind of been curious about people's limits (this is where I tell you, no, I am not psychotic). Where do they cross the line? Is there even a clear line that exists between good and bad? 

The characters are all rather insane. And by insane I mean they murder anyone they feel threatened by and decide to kill people they feel don't matter. They only stop because there's a minimum amount of students they can have. How pleasant, amiright? 

Everyone (EVERYONE) is emotionally manipulative. Everyone has skills that make them deadly. If there is a weakness, it's that they're too in touch with their emotions. They care too much. Or else they're just oblivious to the power hungry vultures surrounding them. 

I loved seeing Flick outsmart other students. I loved reading his thoughts, even though they're twisted. He is so incredibly observant, so distrusting, yet the things he loves he will do anything for. He is definitely the part of the book I loved most. He's so unlike other main characters-- meaning, in this case, that at times you have to stop and wonder if he's actually insane, if he's actually good... or if he's just another psycho in a whole school of them. 

The other characters: Joi, Gwendolyn, Mandel... They were all so well-written and fleshed out that all I can do to the author is bow. 

There is no clear good and bad in this book. There are good and bad motives, but doesn't every villain feel that their motive is the best? Their way of getting to their goal is what tells. And even sometimes, it's impossible to tell. 

So, yeah. That was me hopefully forming coherent thoughts because this book blew my mind. If incredibly dark books freak you out, you should maybe think about not reading this. But if you feel like it'd be a walk in the park, you should definitely go for it.

Writerly Things: Shadows Dancing

Remember when I said I'd post a lot more often? Yeah. That obviously didn't work out as well as planned (or at all), so I will be putting a whole lot more effort into this, since I don't have any actual excuses. 

So, anyways, I decided to make a post every little while to talk about a project of mine. There will probably be repeats-- I'm prone to those-- but it's just a space for me to blab about my pain. In other words, complain profusely. 

Shadows Dancing has been one of the hardest projects I've worked on-- and I'm not close to being done. It has a complex world with a ton of complicated history, various levels of society, and characters that lead such different lives yet end up a close knit group anyways. 

It's also the only book I've tried to plot out completely, which shows just how much I struggled with it. But I know, without a doubt, that this is a book I want to finish.

So, in order to explore the world of my WIP, I wrote a short side-story that followed a new character that lived a normal teenage life in the setting I created. Through the side story I was able to make the world (at least the part of the world that many of the characters would be most in touch with) far more detailed. With that, it became so much easier to envision what it all looked like and what the characters were interacting with. 

She'd seen the grass and felt the fresh air. She'd felt so alive. And she pitied the boy, because he'd never seen that. Never experienced that freedom, however brief it had been.

The character had actually been so completely different from Robyn (the MC of Shadows Dancing) that it allowed me a moment of relaxation. Some characters I never stop being able to write for. Robyn is not one of them. I have to zone in and concentrate, or else I put in a lot of things she would never say, but another character, say Caster, totally would.

Which brings me to the couple of Caster and Robyn. While they do start out disliking each other immensely, they both either want the other's company or need the other's support. Caster wants answers and freedom. Robyn needs someone to guide her through the new world. There's another couple in this book, but they're much less angst and much more fluff than Caster and Robyn.

Robyn is a ghost. Dead for over a century, vengeance bringing her back, power coursing through her veins... the whole deal. She is filled with very well covered hatred, even though it clashes with her naive, trusting personality. No one expects her to be as strong as she is.

Reviewing: Unwind by Neal Shusterman

Connor, Risa, and Lev are running for their lives.

The Second Civil War was fought over reproductive rights. The chilling resolution: Life is inviolable from the moment of conception until age thirteen. Between the ages of thirteen and eighteen, however, parents can have their child "unwound," whereby all of the child's organs are transplanted into different donors, so life doesn't technically end. Connor is too difficult for his parents to control. Risa, a ward of the state, is not enough to be kept alive. And Lev is a tithe, a child conceived and raised to be unwound. Together, they may have a chance to escape and to survive.

I first found out about this book through a book trailer, when I'd been going through a ton of them on Youtube. And it stood out. Now, after reading the book, it stands out even more. 

I wasn't expecting to cry. I don't think I was really expecting a ton of emotion-- I'm not a very emotional reader, all that comes after. And this book is definitely not for everyone. It's horrifying and thought-provoking and it makes you come face to face with the real problems that we face today, even though its set in the future. 

How do we determine someone's worth? By how much we love them? By how much they benefit us? This is the re-occurring theme in Unwind, and each time it grows more powerful. It forces you to take a look at yourself, how you would feel. Would you try to make a difference, or fade into the background?

"Unwinds didn't go out with a bang-they didn't even go out with a whimper. they went out with the silence of a candle flame pinched between two fingers." 

I wouldn't say this book is creepy. It's too... honest and blunt, to be creepy, at least in my opinion. You can see the reality in the way the parents turn their backs, in the way no one wanted this but no one tried to stop it either. It's sobering.

While I do think that so many parents would not even consider having their children unwound, there are, as always, the exceptions. I just... I don't think there would be quite so many parents picking which of their children they loved more. What good, legitimate reason could they possibly have to have their children unwound? Also, why would the Pro-Life group ever agree to the Bill of Life? Would you say the person who donated their heart is still alive in that other person? That piece of them is the same, yes, but it doesn't hold the memories, the feelings, or the way they laugh when they hear a joke.

The characters, Lev, Connor, and Risa were all real. While a lot of people have said that Lev was annoying and they disliked him until the end of the book, I'm here to tell you that it was a case of brainwashing. Raising someone to believe that it is a blessing to be sacrificed, to be taken apart piece by piece is wrong. Lev was raised from birth to see it as a gift. Age 1~13 is the exact time to manipulate a child to think a certain way, to control how they see the world. I've seen incredibly sweet people be racist and homophobic, simply because of how they were raised. That's why I found Lev one of the realest of them. I felt more sorry for him than I did angry towards him.

Connor and Risa were also real. I think that's what made Unwind such an incredible read-- the blunt, cold truth being shoved in your face. Here. Make what you will of it.

Connor is seen as a "wild child." He makes plans to run away, to escape the life his parents chose for him. Risa is simply not talented enough, even though she's tried so hard. There's someone to relate to for everyone. You can see pieces of your own personality in theirs, and sometimes that makes it so much harder.

5 Things that Really Bother Me in Literature

Yeah. This is a ranty post. You probably guessed.

I've read a lot of books over the years. I've barely scratched the surface in some genres, barely even scratched the surface in the genres I love, but I've come across a lot of things that bother (in some cases, infuriate) me in literature. I've read stuff that's really stereotypical, hurtful, or promotes unhealthy relationships.

1. Stalking, over-possessiveness, etc. in relationships.

It is not okay if the guy you date regularly stalks you, or stands outside your window while you sleep, or thrashes any guy who dares be friendly to you. It is not okay if he acts like this is a completely normal, sane thing to do. It is not okay if he acts like he knows it's wrong but does it anyway "because he cares about you." No. Just, no. A guy who really cared about you would respect your boundaries. He would trust you-- and I don't get why this isn't addressed more often in YA.

It is also not okay if he is super controlling. A person should be able to make their own decisions. If he cannot be accepting of that, then he needs to leave.

While it is incredibly rare that the woman in the relationship is the controlling/possessive one, the same goes. It is not okay. 

2. What makes a "strong" character.

Saying that a girl is only strong when she doesn't need anyone is so wrong-- everyone needs a hand eventually. The people who push others away under the claim that they don't need help because they're strong are the ones who cry when they're all alone and eventually cave in on themselves from the pressure to be tough. As time passes, they feel like they can't voice how they feel, can't reach out. So they stop trying all-together.

This isn't just for girls. Guys are constantly told that they're "weak" or "feminine" if they get emotional. THIS MAKES ME SO UPSET. Guys have emotions, too. It's okay to cry sometimes! It's okay to let yourself go because you just can't hold it in anymore. It's not okay to bash someone who is crying when they've probably been holding it in for a long time. People don't just cry over nothing-- they have a reason (not always a good one, but still). And until you know what that reason is, shut up and back off.

3. Parents that are always MIA/parents that just don't care.

I get it. It's hard to have adventures with your parents around. But it's so not a good explanation to have them up and gone from the story.

My parents love me, and I know for sure that if something super scary happened to me, the first thing I would do is tell them. And I know that they would worry about me, they would be protective of me-- because that's what parents do. 

4. Hiding info on what's happening to protect someone.

More often than not, telling your friend/parent/significant other what's going on will help them be protected, because that way they can protect themselves. While I do understand that explaining it is something that would be hard to explain-- "Hey, there's this person that wants to kidnap/kill you because of me"-- seriously, imagine the questions. Imagine the rage/terror at someone endangering your life like that. But, in the end, wouldn't you be grateful that they told you? Ignorance is bliss, but if it also gets you killed, I'd much rather know.

5. Insta-love.

Yeah. I really don't like insta-love. Unfortunately, it happens in a ton of books. Yeah, some try and pass it off as non-insta by having them have either visions of each other or meeting when they were teeny children, but no.

I (quite clearly) do not believe insta-love exists. I do believe in insta-crush, but not love. Love is something that can only be achieved once you know someone. If you don't truly know someone, then you don't love them, you love the version that they are around you.

Reviewing: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Edward was a vampire.

Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how dominant that part might be - that thirsted for my blood.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

In the first book of the Twlilight Saga, internationally bestselling author Stephenie Meyer introduces Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, a pair of star-crossed lovers whose forbidden relationship ripens against the backdrop of small-town suspicion and a mysterious coven of vampires. This is a love story with bite.

I cannot stress how much I was expecting to hate this book. Part of the reason was how much everyoneelse seemed to hate it, and the other was how much I hated the movie. (I didn't even make it past the first twenty minutes).

But I actually really enjoyed reading Twilight. It wasn't horribly boring, wasn't so stupid I could bang my head agains't a wall... It was fine. It was actually good.

And here's why:

Bella is (very) clumsy and socially awkward. She was terrified of starting at a new school in a small town (the people in small towns are super judgemental, and I speak from experience), terrified of not being accepted-- the list goes on. And I loved that she was protrayed this way. Because it's true! Bella isn't your typical "strong" heroine, but that was one of the main reasons I liked her.

However, she could be rather stupidly brave. In fact, I'm not really sure "brave" is the word I'm looking for. Maybe it's just "stupidly."

BECAUSE GIRL. The guy you're crushing on is a vampire . What part of that don't you understand??? HE. WANTS. TO. EAT. YOU. And you can't even trust yourself around him! He can't even trust himself.

She also lashed out at people she had no reason to. Okay, yes, I understand that certain circumstances were rather annoying, but the others were not. People were trying to look out for her, and she got snappy instead of grateful.

Edward was good, too. In fact, I liked him! The only part I didn't really like about him was how controlling he could be sometimes. Yes, it was mostly because he was worried about Bella, but still. If I'm not hungry, I'm not gonna eat. (Unless it's pizza)

I especially liked the banter between Edward and Bella. I loved how she didn't trust him at first (her only normal response to the things he did, like good God girl why are you not freaking out).

I did want to find out more about the vampires, what more they were capable of, but I suppose it all gets talked about further in the series.

There were other people who were definite secondary characters, meaning that you don't really get to know them, but they're personalities didn't blend and I had no problems keeping everyone mentally organized with who was who. Charlie, Bella's dad, was sweet. He's not greatly described, but you can tell he wants Bella to be happy, to stay, or at least come back to visit. He's clumsy with his words, but it shows in how he acts. 

I actually wouldn't have minded if this was a stand-alone. Yes, it had an open ending, but it was the good kind.