I'm Leaving

I technically have already left my blog for almost two months now. I don't post anything. I don't link up with other blogs. I don't read enough books to have a review up every week and occasionally not even enough to have a review up every month.

The truth of the matter is, this blog is already pretty dead. 

So, I guess what I'm doing is making it dead-dead. 

I don't want to write a super long explanation because there really isn't one. Life got hectic and I got tired and that's about it. 

Would I keep blogging if I wasn't so busy? Maybe. I'm not sure. At this point, blogging is not something that I see myself doing for another year or two. I've already had this blog for four years (and I have the horrible first posts to prove it, hidden in my drafts file) and honestly, it was always meant to be something on the side, never something that I took extremely seriously. It was fun while it lasted, but now I'm ready for it to be done. 

Farewell, and seriously thank you to the people who took the time to comment and make my day brighter. You're the reason I stuck around as long as I did. 

Blogger Award: Sisterhood of the World

Briana @ Reader, Writer, Critic tagged me for the Sisterhood of the World award (thank youuuu!!) a couple weeks ago and after much avoiding-of-the-metaphorical-eye-contact it is here!

The Rules

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back to their website.

2. Use the award logo on your post.

3. Answer the 10 questions provided by the blogger who tagged you.

4. Nominate 10 bloggers.

5. Ask them 10 questions.

My Answers

1. What is your favorite book based TV show or movie?

I have one TV show and one movie that I want to use here because I love them both astronomical amounts.

Movie first, The Help, which is weird, because I have yet to read the actual book (I keep meaning to, but it's SO HUGE and I am afraid). But the movie was amazing. I both laughed and cried and it just had so much depth. 

The message was and is so important.

For TV shows... The 100. And if you read my review of the book, you know I'm not a fan, but I am head-over-heals in love with the show and I always want to stop people from reading the book first because then they get the wrong idea about the show and... Gah.

Basically, the book is romance and teenage angst, and the show is death and tears and loss and just pain in general, really. The romance is a side plot (!!!) because the teenagers have to deal with things like people they did not know existed trying to kill them.

Everyone in this show needs at least three showers.

2. Do you write posts in the moment or way ahead of time?

It's a terrible combination of the two. 

What I mean by that is, I get an idea precisely as I'm writing the now post. After I actually reach the time where I should publish that idea, I back out. I decide that it's terrible, toss it away, and come up with a brand new idea on the spot. Sometimes it works but usually it's awful. 

3. Do you ever get overwhelmed by the size of your TBR pile or do you revel in it?

Neither. I actually don't have that big of a TBR (this is basically the biggest crime a bookworm can commit, I know) and I only add books to it a couple times per year. I have 232 books on my TBR on Goodreads right now and most of those books I added years ago.

4. What post are you most proud of this year? 

I haven't got a whole lot to chose from. Buuut, probably my post about the duology I'm writing (which is literally the last post before this one). I opened up about a lot regarding the characters that I hadn't ever talked about before. 

5. When you aren't reading or blogging, what do you like to do?

A little bit of everything? Outside of school and writing (which I decided is too closely related to reading and blogging to count) I am an unorganized mess.

Buuut, I do particularly enjoy watching k-dramas. And I've been trying to watch more English-speaking shows (aka Supernatural and Jane the Virgin). And I occasionally draw.  

6. Do you read books little by little or all at once?

ALL. AT. ONCE.

Which is pretty much how I live my life, really. If I don't read the book in one or two sittings, I lose interest and have to start all over weeks or months later. Whenever I see the book sadly perched on some piece of furniture and the guilty to lazy ratio is tipped in the first's favor.

7. Do you have any blogging or reading rituals when starting a new post or book?

Nope. I'm a fairly spontaneous person outside of school, so there's no time for a ritual. I must just furiously type or read away with no regard for anything else until I'm done or I pass out from over-exertion. 

8. What genres do you gravitate toward the most and what ones do you avoid like the plague?

I will read anything (and I mean anything) that promises snark and blood, but genre-wise I'm pretty chill?? I do love reading horror. OH. AND DARK FAIRYTALE RETELLINGS.

For some reason, I used to love contemporary romance-- but now I can hardly stand them. It takes a serious amount of willpower to read them and I always get bored somewhere during the process because they're so predictable. It's really frustrating because I don't want all of my reading experiences to be emotionally devastating. 

9. How do you balance blogging and reading with the other things is your life?

Badly.

Really, really badly.

10. What are three of your favorite posts by other bloggers that you've read in the past month or so?

Oh, dear.

Well. I haven't really been present in the blogosphere for the past month. I've just kinda been on Youtube whenever I'm not doing school and avidly evading the Blogger logo so I don't feel guilty for not writing a post in almost three weeks.

BUT I AIM TO PLEASE and despite my amazing avoiding skills I still stalked some people so...

1. Cait's unpopular opinions on popular characters.
2. Aimee's very serious guide to things books taught her.
3. Sophia's guide to reviewing on a schedule that I admire while doing the opposite.

Annnd, I am breaking the rules doubly by doing this (first because the question specifically states 3, and secondly because the following post was published precisely a month and three days ago) but here goes. Skye did a post on not letting other people define you that is really important.

My Questions

1. Do you snack while you read? If so, what is your favorite thing to munch on?

2. What inspired you to start blogging?

3. What are you the most confident about with your writing/blogging?

4. Permanent blue hair or permanent purple hair? This is a serious question. I must know.

5. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

6. What book that you read this year has made the biggest impact on you? This can be anything.

7. Give an example of one or more characters (they can be from anything-- book, TV show, movie, or even comics) that you can relate you and/or remind you of yourself. Do you like those characters?

8. Do you have a thousand ideas for writing/blogging per day or do they come once in a blue moon? Somewhere in the middle?

9. Are you a morning bird or a night owl?

10. What music do you like listening to? Is music a big part of the writing experience for you?

My Nominees

I tag...

1. Aimee @ To the Barricade!
2. Skye @ Ink Castles
3. Ely @ what can I say?

...and anyone else who wants to join in! Drop a link in the comments and I'll check out your post and leave a comment.

On Writing: Untitled Duology

I have been working on this duo for over a year and it still has no title. This is infuriating to the highest degree, and a very big insult to my naming capabilities. (I usually name an idea seconds after having it-- in some cases, I even have the name before the idea).

But this idea is basically my child now. And yes, I love all my ideas (that's a lie. some I just stash in broken corners and ignore the existence of. I'm the most loving mother ever what are you talking about) but I'd be lying if I said this one didn't have a special place in my heart.

This "On Writing" post isn't going to be like my last one, where I briefly talked about what the book is about and then touched on the two most important characters extremely briefly. Yes, I'm still going to be talking about characters (and yes, there's two of them again), but it's not going to be brief and I don't talk about the plot at all.

Before I get in to it, I would like to mention: This is a stabby sequence of books. There is blood. (A LOT of blood). People die. (A LOT of people die). And the reason is this: It's a post-apocolyptic sci-fi-ish, dystopian-ish novel and I really wanted to touch up on the forever-question of Can you kill people and do horrible things and still have your humanity? After a lot of writing on this topic, the answer is both yes and no. Just... don't stab things alone. Have a friend. Make it a party. (Obviously, I'm kidding, please don't stab things omg).

The main character is Quinn Rivera.

Quinn is bottled up rage and pain at the age of seventeen. She's probably the most complex character I've ever written-- she has such deep fears and hopes, and even though she acts like a walking icicle armed with way too much sarcasm, love is her guiding force.

I filled out a character chart today about her characteristics. Basically, what makes her tick. And I realized, despite what I'd originally planned, she's not a broken person. She's one of the strongest character that's ever graced my thoughts, actually.

And even though that seems kind of obvious-- she's a bounty hunter so of course she's strong in the literal sense-- she was never meant to be. Quinn was always supposed to be fragile. Breakable. Forever on the brink of losing her mind but too afraid to let herself show it. Now, I know she was always strong, despite the cracks and the tears and the anger that rushed to disguise them.

Can you tell she's my favorite.

Ahem.

If Quinn is chaos, then Luna is the calm.

Luna is Quinn's older sister-- she's nineteen years old-- and she's pretty much Quinn's polar opposite.

She suffers through things quietly and softly. Never enough for anyone to notice, and just so little than everyone thinks she's fine. Better than fine. Happy.

Luna was always meant to be the hero of the story, and Quinn the sidekick, even though Quinn is the main character. From the moment I sat down and started plotting, that was just how it was going to be. In my mind, Luna was... well, the closest thing to perfect.

She's gentle and loving despite all that she's experienced. She's held on to the parts of herself that Quinn abandoned. She still finds it in herself to be able to love and trust those who probably don't deserve it.

And yes, she's still all these things. But now, she's so much more. She's a girl who doesn't know who she is, just that she's her little sister's protector. She didn't mean to be a hero-- she just didn't want to watch the world burn again. She's lost just as much as Quinn is, if not more.

So, yes, this is a book with aliens and guns and war. It features a lot of bruised knuckles and broken bones. But I never really wanted that to be all. I wanted it to be about Luna and Quinn. Sisters who would do anything to hold on to each other, even if it meant losing themselves.

I'm currently writing the second book-- I have everything plotted and this is the first time this has ever happened. Seriously. It's a miracle. And I'm also super excited-- which hasn't happened in a while. I'm over halfway done (!!!) and I'm actually not hating my writing (!!!!!!!). (And then after that comes edits and more edits and more edits and more edits and...). 

Pinterest Board 

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This is the shortest post ever and I am super sorry because my brain is basically falling apart from exhaustion right now. Anyways. I may not be able to post next week. I probably will. This is just a precaution, so you know what I'm doing if I suddenly disappear. 

Reviewing: Believe Me, I'm Lying by Jordan Lynde

When 17 year old Harley finds herself jobless, she needs a new job-- and quick. Her uncle comes to her house with a job offer. For her to become a teacher at his school. A school for delinquents.

Published December 10, 2010 by Random House

Author's Website

Link to the Book on Wattpad

Not gonna lie: When I first read the synopsis, I thought this was going to be a lot like How to Lead a Life of Crime-- which, if I'm being honest, I completely loved-- so my expectations were a little high. However, after the first couple of chapters, the author says that this is supposed to be a romantic comedy with a little action thrown in. So-- probably no psychos trying to murder each other in between kisses. She also adds that this book does not have a plot, and that it's not supposed to. (I think what she actually meant by that is that there is no goal of the story, since technically every book has a plot, even if it's not very good).

I'm going to go ahead and say there was a lot that I didn't love about this book-- but most (read: not all) of them could be fixed with a little editing.

This is a review of the unedited version. It's like the first first draft-- there are plenty of typos and rough descriptions and the like. So, in order to be fairer, I'm going to be discussing/reviewing the story and characters. Not the grammar. (This is basically a warning for those of you who are considering reading this: If bad grammar makes your head hurt, try to find the published version).

Harley associates bad things with the rain. Her pet was killed in the rain, her grandfather passed away from cancer when it was raining, her parents were killed in a car accident when it was raining, and now, when she's fired from her job-- it's raining. Obviously, Harley is not a very happy person-- she's stressed out, she's trying to take care of her little brother, and... she's how old? Seventeen. This girl is seventeen. 

Maybe I'm just being picky, but LEGALITIES, peoples. They exist-- and they're kinda hard to avoid. She can't be a legal guardian until she's eighteen but she is.

Before you say that being a teacher at seventeen is also impossible, Harley is pretending to be twenty-one so that she can have this job.

Conveniently, the entire senior class (the one most of the book focuses on) is made up of boys. All boys. And, not to sound extremely rude, but are all teenage boys complete apes? I've never been to public school so I have no idea how it works, but how the heck are they allowed to treat her like that. Obviously, this is fiction, but I must know-- does this actually happen???

Harley is about as naive and innocent as a newborn child. In the time it took her eyes well up and her cheeks to flush ten times, I'd plotted each of their deaths three different ways. This is arguably a side-effect of writing so many deaths, but oh, well. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS.

This is not an insult to her personality. Harley is sweet-- but that's about it. She's nice and trusting and thinks everyone should get along all the time. (Which drove me insane, to be completely honest). These are all good qualities! BUT. She is also incredibly stubborn. Illogically so. She won't take a job that could save her and her brother because it's offered by someone she knows so it's therefore "charity". She won't stop trying to see the good in people when they've harassed her 1332374687846 times and they've physically assaulted her.

I do not understand.

Seriously.

Someone explain.

On to the love triangle. Or should I say love octagon, because literally every guy has a thing for Harley. And they all like her because she's helpless. What. Also, before I talk about how completely abrupt it is (Example: "Hello, you are covered in flour because I dumped it on you and also you look sad let me help you up-- WAIT you are also a cute human... WHAT ARE THESE FEELINGS I AM A MANLY CRIMINAL") let me just mention how much Harley has no idea what she's doing.

She literally yells, at a classroom full of teenage delinquent boys whilst covered in flour, that they must respect her.

I felt real, physical pain. 

Now, back to topic: Oliver and Arden are the love interests. The main love interests. They are nearly polar opposites in personality, with Oliver being cold and moody and Arden being flirtatious and outgoing, and they are leaders of two opposing school gangs. They're also ex-bffs but they don't like to talk about it. Both of them have their own secrets and bad qualities (Oliver has possibly the worst temper in the world and Arden has a tendency to lie about everything), but they're each also endearing in each of their ways. I will say this: It is adorable how all of Harley's students come to care for her as a person. 

The ending is about as vague as it can possibly be as to who Harley actually sticks with, but I've heard the ending has been dramatically changed and that there's a new epilogue in the published version.

There are maybe three women who are mentioned more than once-- one is never actually shown, another is mentioned in passing, and another is there as a friend but it's never shown why they became friends at all. And they spend very little time together. 

Now, peoples, don't get me wrong. This wasn't an awful book, no matter how much I've ranted about it. I was expecting an action-y, mystery-y, thriller-y book, and, obviously, that's not what this book is about. If you're looking for a light, cutesy read, full of cliches, then definitely go for it. If you're looking for something darker and more suspenseful, this is about the opposite of that.

Reviewing: Follow Me Back by A. V. Geiger

Tessa Hart has a secret - but she's too scared to tell a soul. She dropped out of school six months ago for reasons she doesn't dare speak aloud. Not to her mother. Not to her therapists. Not even to her brand new Twitter BFF...

Eric Thorn has a secret of his own - one that none of the girls would guess. He's dreamed his whole life of making it in the music industry, but no one seems to understand the harsh realities of fame. Not his manager. Not his record label. And certainly not the fan girl he starts talking to on Twitter late at night, for reasons he can't explain...

Now Tessa follows Eric, and Eric follows Tessa. But this is no fan-fiction come to life. This is a story of fan accounts and fake profiles, where no one is exactly who they seem, and where a simple tap of the "Follow" button has the power to lead to love... Or to something far more sinister.

Link to the book

Link to the author's website

Expected publication: 2017 by Sourcebooks Fire

Spoilers are between these: [  ] Highlight to read.

This was really good. It's not that often that I find an awesome book on Wattpad, either-- and this is the first draft. The unedited version. Which means it's going to get even better. *flails*

First of all, this is a mystery/thriller novel. It focuses on Tessa, a girl who dropped out of college in her freshman year due to reasons and is now terrified of being touched/watched/etc., and Eric... a celebrity in a downward spiral of paranoia after a fellow celebrity/popstar is murdered by a psychotic fan.

This is told sort of like Dangerous Girls-- you're given information from after everything happens, and then, in between these snippets of tantalizing clues of what the heck is actually going on, you get a few chapters filled with what happened a few weeks, hours, or months ago. It jumps around some, but that never felt like an issue as I was reading it.

Is it super intense? Yep. It is. But not in the don't-forget-to-dodge-the-bullets way. More in the... don't-turn-around-someone-is-watching-you sort of way. I was right at the most creepy part when I went to bed, and I actually did not want to close my eyes because of the creepery (that's a word) I had just read. Like... no. I felt pretty exposed and vulnerable, and I'm guessing that's what the author wants you to feel... [...so you get a glimpse of the horror Tessa felt. Can I just say that thanks to Blair I am never sleeping 100% comfortably again? I can't imagine how horrified Tessa must have felt to see all those pictures of herself and realize that, no matter what she did, someone had always been watching her every move.][...so you get a glimpse of how Tessa felt. Can I just say that thanks to Blair I am never sleeping 100% comfortably again? I can't imagine how horrified Tessa must have felt to see all those pictures of herself and realize that someone had always been watching her... and she'd sort of known, too, but not really. She hadn't known that it would be that bad. (hide spoiler)]

May I add that I'm already kind of a scared person. Like, when I go out in public, I'm always checking where people are in the room/building in relation to me. I hate it when someone walks behind me. I hate it when people are paying a lot of attention to me. The curtains have to be shut at night. It's not like a phobia, but it's something that just makes me feel more nervous and anxious. This is the first book I've read that deals with stalkery, and may I just say it creeped me the heck out and made me want to nail boards over all the windows in the house.

When it comes to trusting people... HA. No such thing exists. You can't trust anyone. Not Tessa, not Eric, not any of the secondary characters, because EVERYONE is hiding something, everyone is a suspect, and everyone, at some point, seems like they're the one who is responsible for all the bad things ever. I felt so stressed while reading this, and it would be a severe understatement to say that I rushed. I did not simply rush. I did some amazingly epic Flash level of speed-reading that is deserving of a trophy and multiple pieces of chocolate.

The only things that I found iffy were A) the romance and B) some of the most important parts of the story happen in the POV of the character who wasn't there to witness it. For A, I liked the romance until nearing the end-- Eric was being a little bit of a prick. And he was jumping around with tactics. And it felt like he was being super inconsiderate. It was very out of character (to me). For B, I'm not sure if this was because the author didn't know how to write the intense scenes so she skipped to the other person, or if it's because she wants you to completely flip out with the lack of knowing happening. If it's the second, I salute her. I was so impatient to find out what happened that I think I sprained my thumb trying to scroll down the page at hyperspeed.

Follow Me Back ties very, extremely closely with the pressure a celebrity faces (and really makes being a celebrity seem horrible), as well as mental illnesses and how they affect a person.

There was a lot of "WHAT DO YOU MEAN"'s and "NOPE *throws phone" involved. Each of the police transcripts scattered throughout show a different part of the story. Parts that completely contradict each other at first glance but, after you read the whole story, make complete sense.

Also... the ending. I need all of my friends to read this so that we can trade ideas about what that ending meant. [ The way it was put makes it seem like Tessa just traded one stalker for another. Blair to Eric. Both convinced they love her and want to be around her 24/7. Is it showing that Eric became his worst fear??? I HAVE NO IDEA SOMEONE TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS.][The way it was put makes it seem like Tessa just traded one stalker for another one. Blair to Eric. Both convinced they love her and want to be around her 24/7. Is it showing how Eric became his worst fear??? I HAVE NO IDEA SOMEONE TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS. (hide spoiler)]

In conclusion: This was very tense and very twisty and I have ALL the theories and observations so someone needs to read this so I can talk to them about it.

Also: This book has ruined the name "Blair" for me. Like 100% RUINED. Apologies to any future Blair's I meet. You know who to blame.

What's Happening in February AKA The Game Plan

I'm probably going to have to check this post every time I come up with an idea for a post, just so I don't forget what I'm supposed to be doing, but here we go: The Game Plan for 2016. Otherwise known as: This post really should have happened in January but oh well. This is basically going to be a summary of different types of posts and what I'm going to be doing with them... or not doing.

Just in case you forgot who you were dealing with.

Reviews

This month, I am only going to be reading and reviewing books that were first published on Wattpad. I have a serious problem with discovering new authors (AKA I never do unless the book is super hyped), and a serious problem with reading at all once school starts (for some reason I don't read paper books, I only read books that are online) so hopefully this will fix both problems. 

This is only going to be going on in February. In March, it'll be something else, but from here on out every month is going to have a theme. Ex: In March, I might only read high fantasy, and in April I might pick steampunk. 

Life Posts

There are going to be almost none of these. And that's because my life is ridiculously boring. 

Moving on.

On Writing

I'm going to be doing these approximately once a month. Sometimes it might be a little more, sometimes I might not do them at all (if I'm not currently writing anything), but these will just be about different aspects of my current WIPs. Like characters, plots, world building, etc.

Since I just did one last week, another one probably will have to wait until near the end of this month.

Link Ups

I hardly ever do these as it is, but now I am thinking of doing them once a month. Again, hopefully. I don't really know about a lot of link-ups, so that's going to be another thing I try to know more about this year. Also I don't really read a lot of blogs. I only religiously check three blogs for new posts and that is terrible. 

Other than the types of posts I talked about above, there isn't anything else that I'm thinking about posting about. Occasionally there might be some lists (because, seriously, who doesn't like a good list)-- probably like the Top 5 Villains post I did forever ago. I am completely open to any other ideas, but for right now this is what to expect. 

I'll be posting on either Sunday or Monday each week. 

On Writing: My Kingdom Come

This is just going to be a short post about one of my current projects. It's not going to go crazy in depth-- only the basic idea and most important characters.

If you've been around for... I don't know, a while, you know that fantasy is not my thing. I don't write it. I rarely read it. I write futuristic, sci-fi-y (that's a word), dark stuff. I write stories about angry ghosts and alien races and girls with guns. So, of course, the only logical thing for me to do was to sit down and start plotting a giant fantasy book. Go me.

I'm very extremely psyched about it. Mainly because this is something that has been a part of my life for the past forever. I can't even remember when I started it. I was probably four or five, or even three. I've written (awful) versions of this story before. The idea of revamping it is, honestly, irresistible.

The story focuses on the lives of various people-- but, perhaps most vital to the story, are Princess Naomi and the High Princess Katherine. (Note that all of the names used are original and very extremely liable to change).

Naomi. After a thing happens.

Princess Naomi is the heir to the kingdom of Fenn-- the only heir with a bloodline that goes back to the first ruler. The one with all the magic. This kingdom is known for its strategy, as brute force isn't possible with such few numbers. Engaged to wed the High Prince Matthew (name is also going to change) to solve the years of unrest between their kingdoms, Naomi travels to the other kingdom to meet him a month before the wedding.

While there, she meets the High Princess Katherine (her name is 100% going to change), the daughter of the Blood King-- the man who sent the Aeron back to its home in hell. To him, she's invisible, a placeholder for the greater power her future suitor will bring. But there are many, many secrets an invisible princess can learn. Her father will learn to regret what he forced her to endure.




History lesson.

Roughly thirty years ago, there was a war that shook the world to its core. The Aeron had been in the world for years, corrupting and killing. The Blood King united the people and, since the Aeron is indestructible, used the last bit of magic in the world to lock the Aeron away, saving the world. He was immediately chosen to be the High King (which is the highest ranking you can ever have, ever).

Now, even though it's been a short time, children roll their eyes when their parents or grandparents tell them to be careful of the demons.

Of course, the Aeron is nothing if not resourceful. Crossing dimensions are nothing. Just knock on the door. Someone's bound to open it.

Here's the Pinterest board.

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A lot of this is still under serious editing. Serious, as in, I haven't even started writing yet. It's a huge thing to tackle-- especially since I want to make each of the three kingdoms as unique as possible, with their own customs, languages, etc. because that's what real countries are like. It's hard. I've been questioning my sanity on a daily, if not hourly, basis. 

About the new blogging schedule: It's hardly anything, really. I'm going to be posting once a week, but I haven't picked a day yet. It's going to be either Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday. They'll be scheduled to post at around 9 AM. Again, nothing is set, but I'm working on it.